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Well…I could definitely lie about this, and say that nothing’s wrong. Everything’s just perfect and nothing has to change. Hey, it’d be nice to think that way! To honestly be that naïve. I’m not the least bit cynical, but even I know...modern society isn’t exactly perfect.

 

Course we’ve come a long way. So, so many people that wouldn’t even be able to walk down the street are successful people in this day and age. But on the other stand, we’ve still got a long way to go. People still seem to think that you’re automatically wrong because you’re different. So, I guess…If I could change society? It would be nice for people to sort of…look deeper.

 

There are so many, and I see them everyday, that walk past a starving, hungry person on the street without a second thought. The upper class, or whatever they call themselves, it’s almost become habit to turn their noses up at the homeless. I can’t figure it out! How on earth could anyone completely and totally disregard someone in need? I’m not saying to give them the entire sum of your savings, but please people!

 

I need to stop. This gets me just too angry…and to be honest, a little sad. If my sister chose to ignore the babies, I wouldn’t be a mother today…and I don’t want to think about life without them.

 

Muse: Angel Dumott Schunard

Fandom: RENT

Word Count: 230

The moral of the story...

My papi always used to tell me to never talk to strangers. I guess it's good enough advice...there's all types of creeps out there. I'll probably tell Tobias and Juliette the same thing. 

But...I also have to argue with that a bit. I mean, sure, there are people you want to avoid, but sometimes a stranger can become your best friend! I mean, Mimi and I were strangers at one time....seems like a long time ago but none the less.

And then there's Collins...I don't know why I had to talk to him, and I had to make sure he was okay. And I know how rare it is to trust each other the second you meet someone new....but that's how it happened for us. I mean, I guess it wasn't exactly a smart thing to do on my part. You don't just walk down strange alleys, especially at night, especially when you hear a weird voice coming from the end! But still...somehow I just knew. And I think he knew too, that I wasn't about to hurt him, and that's why he came home with me.

So, the moral is, don't talk to strangers...unless you know they won't hurt you? Wow, that sucked. I guess...well...I guess it's just hard to explain, because...I know what I'm trying to say...you'll know when you experience it yourself, I guess. But until you do...what my papi said.

Muse: Angel Dumott Schunard
Fandom: RENT
Word Count: 234

:D

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

*passes out candy*

Hidden

She hadn’t told anybody about it, and she wasn’t planning on it. She figured, if she could keep it her little secret, and then she wouldn’t have to face the embarrassment of having to live up to it.

What was she supposed to do if someone found it? She’d deny it, that much was certain. Not mine, don’t know how it got there, must be someone else’s, lets dispose of it, shall we? And then she’d try to sneak it off somewhere where it wouldn’t get found again. It was addiction, pure and simple.

She didn’t even like to think of the babies finding it. What type of an example would that be for them? She didn’t want them to end up like her, or even worse…what type of parent would she be? She wanted to steer her kids off it, and here she was, it’s slave. Thank god it hadn’t taken any physical effects yet…she’d just die.

And she just hoped Collins never looked in the right hand corner of the shelf in their closet. Because she’d whoop that boy’s ass if he ate her Snickers.

Muse: Angel Dumott Schunard
Fandom: RENT (Misc Movies)
Word Count: 188

Monogamy

Monogamy is easy for me. I've been cheated on enough times to know how awful it is--sitting awake at one o clock, when he said he'd be home at seven. Trips to the grocery store three times a week. The change of his appearance, whether it be weight loss, contacts, hair cut, or the whole nine yards. Lots of vacation time, yet you never see him. Yeah, I know how that feels. And let me tell you, it is NOT fun.

Tom doesn't deserve that. He deserves all of me, and that's what I give him. I've never cheated, not on him, not on anyone. I mean, sure, the temptations been there. I'm only human. When Tony used to go for his two hour walks, I got close to saying 'Screw it' and walking out. But that's when he'd come back. THAT'S when he'd shower me in kisses and attention and I love yous. Two hours too late. Sometimes I wish I'd gotten out of the relationship, you know, before the disease hit...but everything happens for a reason.

Temptation would never strike often, and it has never, ever, not once struck with Tom. I think because, he does spend time with me. He does love me. He doesn't cheat, and if he ever started, he'd be on the curb. But that's the thing; I know he wouldn't. He's just not like that. It's why I love him, and it's why I'll gladly spend the rest of my life with him. Love you, baby.

Muse: Angel Dumott Schunard
Fandom: RENT (Misc. Movies)
Word Count: 253

Topic 137

I can't say I've ever had a blackout that was THAT bad. I mean, my alchohal tolerance is pretty high. But, does it count that there are nights that I wish I'd gotten grand stinking drunk, at least to take the edge off the pain?

Of course, there have been quite a few nights like that. The day I found out I had HIV, I drank pretty much all night long trying to forget, and yet, I woke up with a pounding headache that only reminded me even more of what had happened. Or, anytime I was...with...a man, who was only out to please himself. So many nights...before I joined Life Support, that is. Then things started to look up.

I remember this one time, I was walking out on the streets, all alone, coming home from a friends place, after dark. In drag. VERY bad idea. Let's just say, I met up with some guys who weren't exactly thrilled with my wardrobe, even though, I know I looked good. I forget how big those heels were, but after they'd had a little fun, I managed to get away and I ran all the way home. I took a quick drink, brushed my teeth and got straight into bed, trying to forget all about it.

I woke up, memory still there, of course. It was awful, and I hated it, but you have to put it past you. Forget regret. I went to Life Support, and it eased the pain. Sort of like an alchohal, but so much better.

So, no. I haven't had a night like that, and thinking back? I'm glad of it.

Muse: Angel Dumott Schunard
Fandom: RENT (Mic. Movies)
Word Count: 275

Angel: *kidnaps Chase, James, Mark, etc* Ahahaha I win

Jul. 4th, 2006

HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY!!

From Greg and Mia

If...

If. If if if. I don't like the word if. I really like all the other words, even the really ugly sounding ones.

It's not so much I hate how it sounds. I mean, it's sort of fun to say, really. If you say it a lot. But then it sounds like fif, and I really don't know what a fif is. But I hate the meaning of if.

Basically, thinking what might happen, or what could've happened. If. If I had or hadn't done this, would I be happy? And if the answer is yes, people tend to regret their actions. Regret is bad. Things happen for a reason, you shouldn't regret them. It's not like you can go back in time and fix things. If this happens or doesn't happen, what will I do? Fear! You can't live in fear, you'll worry yourself to death.

If Collins or I dies, who will take care of the babies? Fear. You can't live in fear, you'll waste your life. If I'd dumped Tony earlier, would I be living with disease today? Regret. If I hadn't scared Papi by coming down the stairs in drag, if I'd told him calmly, would I have had hope for a relationship with him? Regret again!

Regret is bad. Fear is bad. And they both seem to come from the word If. See why I hate if? We have to focus on the positives in our lives, not the maybes. Otherwise, we'll drive ourselves insane!

Muse: Angel Dumott Schunard

Fandom: Rent (Misc. Movies)

Word Count: 245
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!

Yeah, I know we don't live in Canada. But...we always need something to celebrate!